rediscovering eden
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Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
I am yours
dailies
Thursday, April 05, 2007
-3:49 PM
I guess it is a matter of who I am dealing with. I may appear glum at times but I am just me. That’s my face. When I am quiet, it either means I have nothing to say or that I don’t feel like saying anything. I am not a perfect being and to be frank, I used to be superbly impatient and bad-tempered. I admit I have been quick-tempered at work, due to the mounting stress. There are just too many things to do and everything seems to be crying out for your attention. I have limited time and resources and I cannot be doing everything all the time. And I need my life!
Maybe I have been too nice? Haha. So when I am slightly not that nice, I appear to be very bad. Well, who cares? Actually, I do. When those I am close to seem to take it negatively. There are just people who are not responsible enough. They infringe on others’ time and boundaries. Maybe my line isn’t drawn clearly. I cannot be acceding to everyone’s request. I will die. I am already taking on too much and though I chose to do so, I have my reasons. My time is precious too and I have my own things to do. Sometimes I wish I can shut myself off from the entire world.
But there are people whom I enjoy myself with. I can laugh and rattle non-stop. It sounds contradictory but life is as such, isn’t it? I wonder why I behave certain way to certain people. I wonder why I hold my tongue from some and lash out on others. Stress. Stress. I think about things that others don’t think of and I may appear to be less intelligent. It does not matter anymore. There is this tension in me. Maybe it is the lack of sleep. Maybe it is my dissatisfactions and anguish hiding and waiting to pounce on something. It only takes a spark. That trigger.
But I am feeling okay now. I am slightly relaxed because I am finished with my observations for my supervisor from NIE. Still, I am left with 4 more for both my Coaching Teachers (CTs). I had the time to smile and talk to people today because I am done with my markings. Yes! Thanks to all the hours put in for the last few days. I try to finish and not accumulate work. My perseverance paid off. Managed to chat with a few teachers (I used to find them rather hostile) in school just now. Even in the ladies. I am surprised they know my name. I can only recognize their faces. The teachers seem pretty nice. I am starting to like most of them. Haha. It is a beautiful Thursday!
Wanted to thank Tommy and Sharon. They have been such good friends and lovely parents of darling Joash. I think I am showered with lots of privileges just by being Jo Jo’s Jie Jie Godma (and I emphasized on ‘Jie Jie’). They gave me a CD for my birthday and even brought me to a nice restaurant for dinner. The food was good and the variety, nerve- wrecking. I almost could not make up my fickle mind. You should take a look at Sharon’s blog for a clearer verdict on the entire experience. Most importantly, the company was a huge bonus. I was up since 5am but the dinner perked me up. Or should I say that Joash is my source for the surge in energy level? Hehe.
Joash is learning and getting better at walking. Those nice and sexy legs in the picture belongs to Sharon. The other pair in jeans belongs to Tommy. That is a picture of my food, with the sausage all cut into bite-size. Could not go without chili sauce. Seriously, I will want to go to the restaurant again if I have the chance. Vines. Hm… … and I forgot to mention the blueberry cheese pie was delicious too. Uncle would not agree though. Still, I enjoyed sinking my teeth into the cold pastry. Yummy! Zhiyong should try too.
