dailies
Saturday, December 29, 2007
-12:05 AM
It hurts. Years of friendship blown away by a gust of wind. How fast! How sad! Just because you chose to interpret something so neutral into something so ridiculous. I am speechless. Perhaps my tears spoke it all. Why don’t you come and ask me? Confront me please! Why did you choose to believe what your brain is deciphering? And in such a bizarre manner! Stop hiding. Come to me. I want to know what is running through your mind.
We can’t run away from the fact that our thoughts are tainted by how we perceive things and it is so ludicrously important to manage perceptions. But I am a very simple person. I just want to be truthful. I tried to be tactful but maybe I failed. But I wasn’t even pointing to anyone in particular. I went back to read and check. I was merely stating my thoughts. Does it mean I cannot even do that on my personal blog?
Let me end this year in peace. It is time to seek God again. For the answers. For the pains. For the losses. For the gains.
Joash is surprising us daily! And he is such a darling! He plants tender (and wet) kisses on my cheeks and lips (haha). He shouts for my name in sometimes a rather condescending manner (ma chiam calling for his maid) which is super amusing. He speaks Singlish such as ‘sit ah’. He imitates me by saying ‘chee chee bom bom’ in such an adorable way. He never fails to charm me and make my days. You should see him shake his butt! It's so infectious! I love to carry him although it can be tiring at times. But how long can I have the chance to hold him oh-so-tightly in my arms? He is growing up fast and soon, he will be running all over the place (actually he is doing that now) and no longer wants to be carried. So meanwhile, I will still want to enjoy his weight resting on me. Hehe. That’s my beloved godson.
Had a great lunch with two friends today – my first time at Parkway Parade! I could not help laughing almost throughout the meal because the interaction was just funny. Oh, and not to forget the facial expressions! And I enjoyed the bus rides because I managed to see more beautiful sides of her.
I hope I get to go for the cycling trip next week at Pulau Ubin – keeping my fingers crossed that the date will not clash with my other activities. I want to indulge myself more before school starts again. Hee.
My results are not exactly fantastic but I am amazed by a few of them. It can only be the prayers of my dear brothers and sisters, and of course, His hand in my life (as always). His faithfulness endures forever!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
-4:05 PM
What will happen in the future???
-3:53 PM
Hilarious!
-2:34 PM
Finally, back to hot and humid Singapore, and away from cold and scenic Taiwan. I spent less than S$200 over there because there was nothing much to buy. Mainly spent on foodstuff such as muah chees, pineapple tarts, Taiyang Bing, drinks and dinners. Perhaps they are selling mainly winter clothes over there now and I see no need for any of them. Managed to purchase a few necklaces back though. The things in Taiwan are not cheap too! A small piece of pineapple tart and Taiyang Bing costs around S$1 each! Although
shopping is quite a disappointment, I must say that the
awesome scenery there made up for it. I am simply amazed at how God created all of them in such a wondrous way!
We traveled for an approximately 1400km over the 5 days in Taiwan, according to the tour guide, Xiao Ye. We moved round almost the whole of Taiwan in that few days! The day starts to darken around 5pm and brighten around 6am. The traffic is different from Singapore and it took me a few days to learn to look to my left first before crossing the roads, and to get up the coach on the correct side. Also felt like a nomad for this period in Taiwan because we had to change hotels daily. Taiwanese are especially warm and approachable; always with a smile when they serve you (sometimes a little too friendly, I find). Overall, Xiao Ye is a terrific guide and he really made all of us feel at home - this is vital because it really helped me enjoy my short holiday there.
Xiao Ye also made an interesting comment - in Singapore, it is
systems ruling over relationships while it is the reverse in Taiwan. You can always work your way through over there as long as good relationships are maintained.
Visited many beautiful places in Taiwan – C.K.S Memorial Hall, Fishermen’s Wharf (filming site of Meteor Garden), Terrace of the Three Immortals, Dream Mall, Alishan Forest Recreation Park, National Palace Museum, Taipei 101 World Building and Shilin Night Market, just to name a few. Learnt much about their culture and along the way, discover how
ugly Singaporeans can be.
Imagine this finicky woman making a big fuss when given two double beds (instead of three single beds) to the tour guide! Imagine spending close to 40 minutes to bargain for a discount of (around) S$2.50 and making the rest of the entire tour group wait patiently for her (the tour guide had to even come up to the coach to apologise that we had to wait for her)! Imagine her shoving her way through everywhere she goes and without a word of apology! Imagine her and her family making the rest wait for at least a minimum of 10 minutes for every time we were told to gather at a meeting point! Imagine her sister putting on shades at 7am and wearing off-shoulder tops at 10 degree Celsius. Imagine her son telling her that photography is disallowed in a discovery centre when the tour guide had obviously repeated the instructions thrice beforehand! And I saw it all! She was discreetly snapping pictures with her mobile phone and
feigned ignorance when confronted. I also overheard her telling her sister that she will be sending the pictures to the newspapers when she gets back to Singapore. Totally appalled! I had to tolerate her disturbing and perpetuate kicking on my seat throughout the rides because she is always sitting behind me. How can any sane adult behave in this atrocious way? Almost the entire group gave her a thundering applause when she walked out of Taipei 101 World Building, after having us wait for her again. I better stop because I can rattle on about her awful behaviour.
Sorry for dedicating such a long paragraph on this woman and her family who enhanced all of our holidays in a very unpleasant manner. Let this be a
caveat to us all when we go abroad in future? They know we are from Singapore!
Now, for some juicy stuff!!!
Outstanding and frightening facts!!!
Mum spent around $1200 on lingzhi.
Also another $1200 on royal jelly.
Estimated $500 on pearl powder.
Ouch! And we have to finish them up no matter what!
Interesting facts!!!
Mum can be a shopaholic.
Deer foetuses are dried up and made into powder form for consumption to cure asthma.
Ugly females are called 恐龙 (kong long) while ugly males are known as 河马(he ma).
They use the adjective 优 (you) to describe excellence.
七里香 is really quite nice to munch (so quit thinking about the chicken’s butt).
The fruits and vegetables there are unusually sweet.
There are over 5000 7-elevens outlets in Taiwan.
I realized that I can still sleep with mum’s roaring snores heading straight to my ears at night. Hehe.
Although mum is starting to nag and repeat things incessantly, I still love her (but I have to admit that it is irritating at times). Hehe.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
-3:45 PM
Day 2
-3:41 PM
Day 3
-3:34 PM
Day 4
-3:25 PM
Day 5
-3:16 PM
Day 6
-3:03 PM
Day 7 and purchases
-1:53 PM
Met up with
How Yi and Rophe. We had a simple lunch and chatted. I laughed often – they have this amazing way of interpreting this world – because they are funny! We parted around 4pm and the horrendous part came. You should have seen how he screamed and ‘fought’ for his life. Yes, although it was just a haircut, Joash made sure the entire building knew his agony. And it must have hurt his parents to bear with the sight of their prince howling desperately. And I bought donuts for them, together with Kian Kei, Benjamin and Yvonne.
It has been quite some time since I last brought
Krystal and Esther out, and I finally did it, together with their mum. Esther is as adorable as ever, posing while trying on shoes at Bata. I love the way she calls me ‘biao jie’… super sweet. Krystal is her usual – pretty. Can’t imagine that she will be in Primary 5 next year because I used to cuddle her in my arms!!! Yes, I know, time and tide wait for no man. Hei! But I am a woman. Hahaha.
Friday, December 14, 2007
-11:17 PM
Will be away from 15th to 21st December for a short holiday in Taiwan. Wait for more entries when I get back! Boo!!!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
-12:10 AM
We went to Ju Ju!!! Check out the pictures!!! It is close to $34 for a seven course meal and I think it is a nice place to hang and chill out with friends on rainy and cool days. The service is pretty good too!
We went to PS for a stroll too. Bought two different biscuits (my favourite) at Marks & Spencer. Intended to give them as gifts. To my surprise, somebody gave my mum the exact two tubes of biscuits. I got a shock when I saw them on the dinner table when I got home. God is good - now I get to enjoy them too! Hee.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
-2:38 PM
Joash was making himself comfortable at Courts... ...
And again, the prince was resting his feet at NTUC... ...
Am going for Ju Ju tonight and I am superbly excited. c",)
Rophe is truly amazing! He has organised the little gathering!
I want to have peace before I leave for Taiwan.
It is tough for people to learn their lessons?
Someone just approached me to give tuitions again! God is Jehovah Jireh!!! He is my Provider!
And congrats to Kenneth! He passed his driving test this morning!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
-11:46 AM
TomSum bought us 'suan pan zi' from a Hakka Restaurant! I love '
yam-mie' stuff! (*o*)
Look at how much Jojo enjoyed his
Portugese Egg Tart! He only dug into the custard, leaving his dad to finish the pastry. Cute! c",)
And Sharon and I went to have our nails painted again! Mine is a dark blue with 3 dimensional flowers and Sharon's an adorable red with pretty flowers. She said that her toes looked ready for Chinese New Year. Haa. Thanks to Tommy and Joash for waiting patiently while we pampered ourselves!
Sunday, December 09, 2007
-1:55 AM
Went to a café (Ti Amo) which Tricia used to work in. It is in Serangoon and there is no GST and 10% service charge. And to top it all up, the food is actually relatively good (I love the salad). It is pretty cozy too and we enjoyed ourselves other than my sheer bewilderment of the accuracy of our guess. Alright, though I wasn’t really stunned, I was quite disappointed and a little furious. I seriously think we should earnestly consider the consequences of what we allow to come out of our mouths. But what is done, is done. It is okay if you make no head or tail of what I have typed here. There is nothing fearful about telling the truths but I am just afraid to complicate things. The last thing I want to do is to hurt people.
Had Ah Mei Milk Tea and that was enough to make an owl out of me. Naturally a nocturnal being, I have no reservations about staying awake till three in the morning but this potent drink kept my eyes open until half past seven. I was described as ‘skipping happily’ to and fro Joash’s room in the dark. You see, Joash was babbling almost non-stop while everyone seemed (or was dying) to be asleep. I couldn’t resist going near and disrupting him in his solitude, just to listen. Gor gor, Ah Chee (Kenneth), Seychelles (Michelle), Gi-ian (his Jie Jie Godma), she ear (sit here), K-K (Kian Kei), Jie Jie… … on and on he went. Am astounded by his perseverance in practising the art of speaking, and be heard. Poor Tommy and Sharon – the sacrifices of all parents! I cannot imagine they have to work after surviving such an ordeal (which is nearly an every-night affair).
This prince was grouchy after resting little through the night. Owing to only approximately two hours of sleep, I cannot really recall what we did in the morning. All I know is that Joash loves playing with his 5 cars – arranging and lining them up from place to place. I find it amusing and wondered if this daily chore of his will end any time soon. He had his milk and bath, and changed into a sexy off-shoulder outfit. *whistle* We played a while and then it was time for his lunch. I had mine too at TomSum’s place – Tommy bought economical rice (I remember it as ‘Point Point rice’ from a friend) for us. It was his treat – thanks Tommy! Took a slow stroll home after that. Have to be there for cell in another few hours’ time. Woah! Their comfy home is fast becoming my second home. Kekeke.
Zhiyong called when I was at TomSum’s place. Naturally, I got Joash to call him ‘Gor Gor’ immediately - of course this precious darling obliged and even gave ‘bonuses’ such as ‘bye bye’ and ‘ai ni’ (love you). We hung up after a brief conversation. This dear friend is so funny! He actually sent me a text after that to say that he felt much better after hearing Jojo’s voice. Hope he is not too stressed up over work. Due to his busy work schedule next week, I think it is almost impossible for us to meet up before I leave for Taiwan. He wanted to watch Golden Compass and go for KTV.
Went to this Hong Kong Café just now at Marina for dinner. We commenced eating only at about 9.30pm! The food was fabulous – either that they were really good or that we were too famished to be critical about what we were served. I had an Assorted Mushroom Congee. It was more like a clay pot of rice soaked in a soup base with shredded mushrooms of various types – a little to the salty side.
Although I was betrayed, I learnt precious lessons. Still, I believe there are (only) a few I can pour my heart out to – they have proven to be trustworthy and I thank God for them. Felt being made use of at times. But it is over now. Have to move on. No true freedom. No true freedom. *lamenting* But it is a choice made.
-1:49 AM
Thursday, December 06, 2007
-1:56 AM
What have I been doing? Catching up on rest and getting ready for Christmas. My list is out and I have to start hunting for gifts. Am 80% done with purchasing but still rather far from making the actual gifts.
Better start soon before I leave for Taiwan.
Went to Ang Mo Kio Hub on Monday and saw this
man in silver?!?! He has scarily piercing eyes and I managed to get a picture of him. Also made my way to Carrefour in JB on Tuesday with TomSumJo and Mich.
Received this
gorgeous early Christmas gift from TomSum for 2007. I can’t express how much I actually love it but I have been searching for something like that for a long time. My current little bag is wearing out and I have to get one for back-up before it is totally gone. Haa. Such a pleasant surprise! Thanks, Tommy and Sharon! I am really quite speechless.
Bought this Easy-To-Do Stick-It-Easy Window Mosaic but it is not an easy feat to complete it. Why? The colour tones can be pretty close and I have to see carefully before I stick the bits onto the given board. But I am very proud of it –
breath-taking piece of masterpiece. Am going to give it away though. Intend to buy another to work on.
Went out with my aunt, Krystal and Esther. Thoroughly enjoyed myself. Love the way Esther calls me
‘biao jie’ (meaning cousin in Mandarin) while grinning away. She was asking for Jojo a few times. We had lunch and then went shopping. Rest assured, I am relatively careful with how I spend money since I am digging into my savings. Hee.
This evening went on well until during dinner. Was enjoying my chicken curry with bread when I received a call. Absolutely sure that I am being
betrayed by people whom I thought could keep secrets. Don’t they realize that the leak of such information can have grievous consequences and implications? I wouldn’t want to jeopardize the current situation. I know somewhat I have to tell the truth now (not that I didn’t use to but I had intended for it to stay within my circle of trusted friends). *sigh*
Am going to meet a new friend next Tuesday. Kind of
exciting!
More
corny stuff from Tommy… …
What is the study of corn called? -----> Cornology
What about one who studies Cornology? -----> Cornologist
What is a corn with a degree called? -----> congee
There is no need to get
so sensitive. Why pursue? What are you trying to prove? Leave it. Abandon it. Throw it aside. Desert it. Dump it. Discard it. Walk out of it.
-1:53 AM
Monday, December 03, 2007
-12:21 AM
Back! Finally? From Children Camp 2007! Am recuperating before I get moving for other tasks.
Wasn’t really looking forward to the camp because something very upsetting happened just a few days before it. Was very much disappointed by a few people and saddened by a few facts. In the course of the camp, I was
tested. My group of children wasn’t exactly all soft and mild. Instead, they had the amazing ability to make me want to burst out in tears and laughter at the same time. Within a minute, these boys can throttle one another’s throats and laugh at one another’s jokes! I had to be with them for almost every moment, except when they were sleeping (Come on, I cannot be sleeping with these grown-ups). They sure had almost all of my attention for these 4 days and 3 nights because they (seem to) fight for fun (or boredom) and inclined to use vulgarities and uncouth words.
Zhi Liang has the face of an angel but he is quite oblivious to instructions and a real test of my patience. Renzo is a tough nut to crack. Eugene is very teachable. Kenneth has to manage his anger. Royce could have made better use of his qualities. Terence appeared to be docile but only at the beginning. Du Xuan is a darling, together with Krishan, Joshua and How Yi. Lucas can be a gem and quite a handful at the same time. Alastair is a gentle giant. Leon and Rophe have leadership qualities.
These boys are
so loud that I had to be louder to be heard and they have
infinite energy! Thank God I didn’t lose my voice and could keep up with them. Wonder if I can still do it next year (if I am roped in to serve again) since I will be another step closer to the big thirty. And before they slept, Wei Chin and I prayed for them individually. I asked if I could kiss them good night on their foreheads on the last night. Responses? Some were shy, others were most willing and others tried to act cool. Funny!
These darlings
screamed for my name
thunderously on the night of the Purim Feast – was awarded the Best Dressed in my purple Punjabi suit (and a child came and told me that I look exactly like an Indian). Frankly speaking, I wasn’t even dressed up! And poor Lucas couldn’t bear to leave us when he was suffering from high fever – eventually he had to go but he joined us after a day and night of absence. These boys danced beautifully for their performance – so proud of them. And we (Make A Joyful Noise) came in first for the camp! Woah!!!
It seems I am an
eye opener to Wei Chin (my assistant) because it is her first children camp experience. I played like a boy with my kids (rough it out, Gil). I disciplined like a prison warden (don’t let your mind wander too far). I loved like a mother (even spoon fed them with food). I worked like a bee (gathered many 'honey babies' though). And Wei Chin actually told ACS (children pastor) that I ought to be in charge of a more challenging group?!?! I think not many can handle my group as well as I do. *smug* It is a God-given talent, I believe, because this is what He has called me to do. And I speak volumes with my eyes - all I needed to keep a few rowdy boys quiet is with my 'killer stare'. Powerful? Keke.
Everything was alright for this camp except perhaps for almost all the worship sessions. They just didn’t hit it? I think much time was saved by having our meals at the Eatery instead of taking a half marathon by walking to the canteen for meals. The Outdoor Games were sadly completely not up to scratch – explicitly, it’s a lack or maybe even absence of organization. I
abhor deficiency of order, especially when the activities are meant for children! I’ve done such activities for children many times and clearly, little effort was put in for that session. Henry was discussing with me on this - is being critical due to pride or genuinely out of concern to achieve the very best? Well, you decide. We are there to serve God through serving the children!!! The Purim Feast was marvelous, though, which kind of made up for this. The performances and Kenneth’s astounding magic show… Can’t wait to see all the pictures!
Could clearly see the improvement in See Leng in this camp – a more independent worker now. Henry was amazing in countless and flawless ways – enjoys fishballs like Joash (and it is funny to hear him call me ‘jie Gillian’)! Huiyun was a truly dedicated camp nurse (and very observant as well). I see a few of the little (yet older ones) rising up! Imagine them leading worship and playing various instruments! Kei (the boys thought he is my boyfriend) was as usual, a must-have – responsible and reliable chap in every way. Leslie and Benjamin are Hercules in disguise. Wei Chin has been quietly helping me manage my group of challenging (Benjamin said that our group is the toughest to deal with through his three experiences of children camps) boys. Someone said something
blatantly untrue to save his own face. May I ask what good is a Dormitory Leader if I cannot find him in the dormitory with the boys at night?
My neck and shoulders were aching badly even before camp and having to sleep on the freezing floor for the 3 nights didn’t help. Although I slept, the rests were insufficient because I turned in late (or early?). The final debrief ended around 4.40pm on Saturday (after camp break at 2pm) and the theme for next year's children camp is already out! I like the theme very much - on His love. I even managed to read ACS's mind and came out with the names of two teams. Hoho. Went for dinner with Huiyun before going back home. Suddenly, I was not surrounded by my dear energetic boys and their incessant chattering.
Felt rather empty then. Back to the real world again!
I didn’t tell my parents that I had camp so it was until I got home around 6 plus in the evening when they confirmed I was at one. Haha. Cannot imagine what will happen if I were to disappear for days in future. Didn’t manage to do much back in my room and then Sharon called. They were going to KFC for dinner and I decided to just join in because I wanted to see them. Getting through a few days without seeing them seemed weird. But I guess I was too tired to communicate properly with them. Went to TomSum’s place after that and while watching Enchanted (yes, again!), I dozed off into dreamland. I was
totally knocked out to the point that they couldn’t wake me up to go home. Congrats, you've just found a dead log!
Was told that Tommy purposely walked loudly around me and Didar (or was it Jerome?) said something like ‘Children, let’s go’ just to try waking me up. Ultimately, I woke up almost in a shock when Huiyun called me in the morning. Was then lying on the floor in the living room with a blanket (Thanks to either Tommy or Sharon for keeping me comfortable). Sharon said that my posture did not change –
slept and woke up with the same pose. Michelle was slightly amazed at this, I guess. Haha. Ended up not attending service on Sunday morning. Had lunch at Bei Sheng and I met Rachel’s new squeeze – Kong. Still find it unbelievable that she is attached. To prove that this is not a punk, they even kissed lips to lips in front of Sharon and I.
Went to the airport for dinner and after that, we sent Didar off at Pasir Ris. Starting to feel more 'normal' now with the 'camp withdrawal symptoms' slowly fading off. Call this
normalisation (trying to be corny here but perhaps only those who know what true normalisation is are able to comprehend this joke)? Hehe. By the way, Didar looks pretty dashing in his uniform! Wanted to take a picture with him but was carrying Joash then. Maybe next time. Joash is able to say many new words now! So intelligent! Terrific Two, yeah! Nicky treated me to Ice Latte at McDonald’s, and not forgetting the fries from Tommy. Poor Nicky is totally scorched from his 42km run! He is genuinely emitting heat, which is enough to melt 10 ice-creams in a minute? Hehe.
Can’t wait for tomorrow to come. I want to clean up my room and start getting ready for Christmas!
How do you assess if someone has done great for a job when you are a total flop given the same task? Who are you to appraise and evaluate when you have nothing to measure against?
What is accountability without sensitivity and discernment? When can one make vulnerable trust strong again? I don’t know. At times, I don’t like to divulge too much to people anymore.
It hurts. And it hurts again when my friends are hurt. Why can't people hold the feelings of others with higher regards? *sigh* Still, I want to thank God - He gives me precious friends to stand by me. Isn't God awesome? Truly, love of Jesus is sweet and wonderful!
I take comfort in You alone
You who collect my every drop of tear
Who knows my every fear
I take pleasure in You alone
You who serenade me with endless songs
Who makes me daily soar
Sunday, December 02, 2007
-11:56 PM