rediscovering eden
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Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
I am yours
dailies
Monday, December 03, 2007
-12:21 AM
Back! Finally? From Children Camp 2007! Am recuperating before I get moving for other tasks.
Wasn’t really looking forward to the camp because something very upsetting happened just a few days before it. Was very much disappointed by a few people and saddened by a few facts. In the course of the camp, I was
tested. My group of children wasn’t exactly all soft and mild. Instead, they had the amazing ability to make me want to burst out in tears and laughter at the same time. Within a minute, these boys can throttle one another’s throats and laugh at one another’s jokes! I had to be with them for almost every moment, except when they were sleeping (Come on, I cannot be sleeping with these grown-ups). They sure had almost all of my attention for these 4 days and 3 nights because they (seem to) fight for fun (or boredom) and inclined to use vulgarities and uncouth words.
Zhi Liang has the face of an angel but he is quite oblivious to instructions and a real test of my patience. Renzo is a tough nut to crack. Eugene is very teachable. Kenneth has to manage his anger. Royce could have made better use of his qualities. Terence appeared to be docile but only at the beginning. Du Xuan is a darling, together with Krishan, Joshua and How Yi. Lucas can be a gem and quite a handful at the same time. Alastair is a gentle giant. Leon and Rophe have leadership qualities.
These boys are
so loud that I had to be louder to be heard and they have
infinite energy! Thank God I didn’t lose my voice and could keep up with them. Wonder if I can still do it next year (if I am roped in to serve again) since I will be another step closer to the big thirty. And before they slept, Wei Chin and I prayed for them individually. I asked if I could kiss them good night on their foreheads on the last night. Responses? Some were shy, others were most willing and others tried to act cool. Funny!
These darlings
screamed for my name
thunderously on the night of the Purim Feast – was awarded the Best Dressed in my purple Punjabi suit (and a child came and told me that I look exactly like an Indian). Frankly speaking, I wasn’t even dressed up! And poor Lucas couldn’t bear to leave us when he was suffering from high fever – eventually he had to go but he joined us after a day and night of absence. These boys danced beautifully for their performance – so proud of them. And we (Make A Joyful Noise) came in first for the camp! Woah!!!
It seems I am an
eye opener to Wei Chin (my assistant) because it is her first children camp experience. I played like a boy with my kids (rough it out, Gil). I disciplined like a prison warden (don’t let your mind wander too far). I loved like a mother (even spoon fed them with food). I worked like a bee (gathered many 'honey babies' though). And Wei Chin actually told ACS (children pastor) that I ought to be in charge of a more challenging group?!?! I think not many can handle my group as well as I do. *smug* It is a God-given talent, I believe, because this is what He has called me to do. And I speak volumes with my eyes - all I needed to keep a few rowdy boys quiet is with my 'killer stare'. Powerful? Keke.
Everything was alright for this camp except perhaps for almost all the worship sessions. They just didn’t hit it? I think much time was saved by having our meals at the Eatery instead of taking a half marathon by walking to the canteen for meals. The Outdoor Games were sadly completely not up to scratch – explicitly, it’s a lack or maybe even absence of organization. I
abhor deficiency of order, especially when the activities are meant for children! I’ve done such activities for children many times and clearly, little effort was put in for that session. Henry was discussing with me on this - is being critical due to pride or genuinely out of concern to achieve the very best? Well, you decide. We are there to serve God through serving the children!!! The Purim Feast was marvelous, though, which kind of made up for this. The performances and Kenneth’s astounding magic show… Can’t wait to see all the pictures!
Could clearly see the improvement in See Leng in this camp – a more independent worker now. Henry was amazing in countless and flawless ways – enjoys fishballs like Joash (and it is funny to hear him call me ‘jie Gillian’)! Huiyun was a truly dedicated camp nurse (and very observant as well). I see a few of the little (yet older ones) rising up! Imagine them leading worship and playing various instruments! Kei (the boys thought he is my boyfriend) was as usual, a must-have – responsible and reliable chap in every way. Leslie and Benjamin are Hercules in disguise. Wei Chin has been quietly helping me manage my group of challenging (Benjamin said that our group is the toughest to deal with through his three experiences of children camps) boys. Someone said something
blatantly untrue to save his own face. May I ask what good is a Dormitory Leader if I cannot find him in the dormitory with the boys at night?
My neck and shoulders were aching badly even before camp and having to sleep on the freezing floor for the 3 nights didn’t help. Although I slept, the rests were insufficient because I turned in late (or early?). The final debrief ended around 4.40pm on Saturday (after camp break at 2pm) and the theme for next year's children camp is already out! I like the theme very much - on His love. I even managed to read ACS's mind and came out with the names of two teams. Hoho. Went for dinner with Huiyun before going back home. Suddenly, I was not surrounded by my dear energetic boys and their incessant chattering.
Felt rather empty then. Back to the real world again!
I didn’t tell my parents that I had camp so it was until I got home around 6 plus in the evening when they confirmed I was at one. Haha. Cannot imagine what will happen if I were to disappear for days in future. Didn’t manage to do much back in my room and then Sharon called. They were going to KFC for dinner and I decided to just join in because I wanted to see them. Getting through a few days without seeing them seemed weird. But I guess I was too tired to communicate properly with them. Went to TomSum’s place after that and while watching Enchanted (yes, again!), I dozed off into dreamland. I was
totally knocked out to the point that they couldn’t wake me up to go home. Congrats, you've just found a dead log!
Was told that Tommy purposely walked loudly around me and Didar (or was it Jerome?) said something like ‘Children, let’s go’ just to try waking me up. Ultimately, I woke up almost in a shock when Huiyun called me in the morning. Was then lying on the floor in the living room with a blanket (Thanks to either Tommy or Sharon for keeping me comfortable). Sharon said that my posture did not change –
slept and woke up with the same pose. Michelle was slightly amazed at this, I guess. Haha. Ended up not attending service on Sunday morning. Had lunch at Bei Sheng and I met Rachel’s new squeeze – Kong. Still find it unbelievable that she is attached. To prove that this is not a punk, they even kissed lips to lips in front of Sharon and I.
Went to the airport for dinner and after that, we sent Didar off at Pasir Ris. Starting to feel more 'normal' now with the 'camp withdrawal symptoms' slowly fading off. Call this
normalisation (trying to be corny here but perhaps only those who know what true normalisation is are able to comprehend this joke)? Hehe. By the way, Didar looks pretty dashing in his uniform! Wanted to take a picture with him but was carrying Joash then. Maybe next time. Joash is able to say many new words now! So intelligent! Terrific Two, yeah! Nicky treated me to Ice Latte at McDonald’s, and not forgetting the fries from Tommy. Poor Nicky is totally scorched from his 42km run! He is genuinely emitting heat, which is enough to melt 10 ice-creams in a minute? Hehe.
Can’t wait for tomorrow to come. I want to clean up my room and start getting ready for Christmas!
How do you assess if someone has done great for a job when you are a total flop given the same task? Who are you to appraise and evaluate when you have nothing to measure against?
What is accountability without sensitivity and discernment? When can one make vulnerable trust strong again? I don’t know. At times, I don’t like to divulge too much to people anymore.
It hurts. And it hurts again when my friends are hurt. Why can't people hold the feelings of others with higher regards? *sigh* Still, I want to thank God - He gives me precious friends to stand by me. Isn't God awesome? Truly, love of Jesus is sweet and wonderful!
I take comfort in You alone
You who collect my every drop of tear
Who knows my every fear
I take pleasure in You alone
You who serenade me with endless songs
Who makes me daily soar
