Welcome to Gillian's blog!

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
I am yours

Celebrated Joash’s second birthday with two days’ of chalet stay at Changi area. This baby gem is learning fast and the mere sight of him warms my heart. Went cycling at Pulau Ubin and visited Chek Jawa with Kenneth, Kei and Michelle. *scream* I want to go there again!!! These are the more exciting recent events in my life. Else, the (almost) daily routine would be to go to school and give tuitions in the evenings. This semester is terribly loaded with endless readings and my schedule filled with two-hours and four-hours breaks is not helpful at all (because I study best at home and there are simply too many distractions in school – even the library is noisy). Days can start as early as 8.30am (yes, that mad human rush greets you at the Boon Lay Interchange) and end as late as 6.30pm. Quite a number of lectures and tutorials are also scheduled in the late afternoons, when one’s body is most skeptical to sneak into a snooze. Got to go - Time to get ready for worship practice…

I thought I am strong but I am wrong. It has been a long time since I cried over my own emotions and I finally did it again. I tried but I failed. Actually got out of bed crying. I know all these intense feelings will affect me and I had them under control. Haa. Was terribly wrong. Never sweep things under the carpet. I used to ask. Why are there endless inconsistencies? Why such hurtful remarks? Then I assumed I got over them. Guess I was wrong again. Never mind what had happened. I need to settle myself first! Realized that I haven’t really forgiven. Still, I hear Him. Indeed, He holds my every moment, calms my raging seas and walks with me through fire.

She didn’t intend it to happen. How could she? The only wrong was perhaps for the very fact she trusted the wrong people. She couldn’t tell. It could only get others hurt. Putting on a false façade doesn’t help. Thank God for some of the gems planted in her life. They stood by her. Too late. She gave seven years… the best of herself to where she once thought she would stay till the day she passes away. Now, she is looked upon by some with a tainted perspective. Silent tears flow. Invisible wounds still stinging. This is all so real. Painfully real.

Verse 1
Many songs will fade away
And few things will remain
Melodies and Harmonies will change
Melodies and Harmonies will change
But I’m hearing a new song
I’m hearing a new song 

Prechorus:
I’m beginning to hear the angels cry holy
Love song of God, rise in me
I’m surrounded by You here in Your glory,
Love song of God rise in me 

Chorus:
I wanna be romanced by the King of the ages
I don’t want to sing of a passion I’ve never known
I want to get lost in the beauty of Jesus
To dance through the night around Your Throne 

Bridge:
So dance with me
So dance with me

So much has happened. 
And He spoke. 
Look to Him regardless of situations. 
My First Love. Yes, my First Love...

Imagine that you enter a parlor. You come late. When you arrive, others have long preceded you, and they are engaged in a heated discussion, a discussion too heated for them to pause and tell you exactly what it is about. In fact, the discussion had already begun long before any of them got there, so that no one present is qualified to retrace for you all the steps that had gone before. You listen fro a while until you decide that you have caught the tenor of the argument: then you put in your oar. Someone answers; you answer him; another comes to your defense; another aligns himself against you… However, the discussion is interminable. The hour grows late, you must depart. And you do depart, with the discussion still in progress.

- Kenneth Burke, The Philosophy of Literary Form

What are your first thoughts after reading the above?

What do you think the passage is trying to convey?

Do you think there is more than one meaning in it?

My tutor for Academic Discourse Skills kick started our first tutorial with this. Interesting!

The first week of school flew past. I had thought that this semester may be a breeze with only 5 modules but I am terribly wrong. They are heavy modules – at least 3 require a lot of readings to be done. Spent slightly more than a hundred purchasing textbooks and course reading materials on the first day – they look pretty intimidating lying on my table. My schedule also has 2-hours and 4-hours break here and there – and I dread long breaks because I find it hard to study in school. With days ending late, I am usually stuck with the choice to loiter somewhere or go back home for short breaks before my tuitions start. But one thing to thank God for, my tutors are fabulous! I think they are the key to enjoying another semester.

TomSumJo came to school to visit me on Monday. I was over the moon because I was loaded with textbooks and papers that day. We had dinner at Canteen A and they love the cheap and sumptuous Japanese food. Jojo had a great time with his chocolate cream as he sat on my lap. They are thinking of coming for dinner on Monday evenings in future, which is a real bonus because I get to hitch a ride home, away from the mad rush in the Boon Lay Bus Interchange!

My precious darling can call me ‘Godma’! This is exhilarating because he used to say ‘amen’ whenever I tried to get him to address me properly. Still, I love the way he yells for my name. Hehe.

Tried this crepe at Jurong Point – tuna and egg – and it’s delicious. Price is a little steep at $5.80 though.

Took this picture a long time ago. Nice blue eyes?

Have so much to update because I have not been blogging. Thanks to Kenneth and Justin because they helped me get my PC in splendid working condition once again. Owe it mostly to Kenneth because he came especially to my house just to get it fixed.

Counting My Blessings

Am reminded once again to count my blessings because thankfulness doesn’t come that naturally. Also know that I may not thank God for certain situations but I can always be thankful to Him because I know He is in control. Just a note, I am not Count Dracula.

Inspiring Speaker

Pastor Sunny Ooi mentioned about those who correct must be willing to be corrected. This is easier said than done because pride tends to always get in the way of humility. Also, he talked about breaking out of traditions. Are we ready?

My Uncle

I know he reads my blog from time to time. A real jewel. And I want to thank him for his friendship and the openness to share his struggles and victories with me. Any relationship takes hard work to be maintained and nurtured. Do make the right decision!

Lynette and Niece

I got a few adorable torches back from Taiwan and gave one first to Lynette. Apparently, she loves it! Roy said that she will shine it on the walls at night before she sleeps. And today, I asked her if I could carry her. Her incredible reply was “I am not a baby anymore.”. Another friend’s mad niece seems to love it too. Haha. Should have purchased a few more back and then I will be the sole supplier in Singapore? Inelastic supply with high demand yields great profit! Do you smell the cash? (*_*)

Thanking God

For the marvelous holiday in Taiwan, which kind of drew me closer to my brother and mother. I wasn’t on talking terms with my bro previously. For the company of countless friends. They made life so colourful and interesting. For my cell, which I believe I am fitting in rather well. The children are gems to be with! For my crossing over to the degree program and results for first semester. I really didn’t expect all these. For the numerous incidents which got me thinking and hopefully, made me wiser as well. I know God is in control. For the kiss I managed to plant on dad’s ear, because he was struggling to get away from my lips. Come on, we have to show our affections or regret later. For the tuition assignments which came in. I can survive! For so much more and most importantly, for His unfailing and matchless love!

Spitting Image With Hyperventilation

Sharon, Kenneth and I were discussing on whether is it ‘splitting image’ or ‘spitting image’. And this is the main thing which Mich could vividly recall when she hyperventilated. We were all shocked and worried. Rushed her to the clinic and the doctor suspected she had fits. The ambulance then came and on the early morning of the eve of New Year, Tommy, Kenneth and I were in the A&E block of SGH. Thank God she is fine now.

Joash

Joash is turning two soon. How time flies! I was reminiscing those times when he could only blabber, as I looked through the pictures I took of him in the past. It is amazing how I became his godma! Was telling Sharon that I will adopt children if I don’t get married eventually. She told me that I already have one to shower my love on. And it is just so amusing when I try to get him to call me ‘godma’. He will always reply with ‘amen’. This darling is so intelligent. Or should I say, street-smart? He knows exactly when to ask for me – whenever he wants something – because I will always give in to him.

Went to a Japanese Restaurant and had an extremely late dinner with TomSumJo and Kenneth at 9pm! The food was not exactly fantastic but I do like the ambience. And the waiter who served us is impressive!