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Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
Had my first Belly Dance lesson on Friday with Marie, Ching, Ernie and Sabrina at Natasha's home. I find it a little tiring for my arms because we had to lift them up most of the time. There are different names for various moves and I think we have to jot them down somewhere for the sake of practising. We were also contemplating to buy the hip scarves to jazz up the practices.
Went to JB with my second family today and to my pleasant surprise, I saw hip scarves being sold at one of the carts. After getting a discount, I paid RM55 for a classic black (and there are many more colours available). Bad choice because my brother found it too noisy when I put it on in my room and began twisting and turning my rear. Haha.
Recess is coming to an end. Soon, all the presentations will commence and in about two months' time, it's 'bye bye' to the NIE campus... *sigh*
Thursday, February 26, 2009
-11:57 PM
Caught this rainbow yesterday. Reminds me once again of His promise...
Finally, the designers decide to come up with something in purple!
I like this too - reminds me of Fish & Co.
Happy family!
This pot of claypot chicken rice, together with a small bowl of salted fish swimming in minced ginger, cost less than S$4! There were generous portions of mushrooms, boneless chicken and vegetables. Well marinated, the mushrooms are juicy and the chunky chickens, tender. Grab it at the food court in City Square, JB! Haha.
I wonder why are they so expensive when all I could taste is sugar! Though the colours are attractive, these macaroons are really nothing special. Shall never have them land on my tongue ever again!
My latest nail colour and design. Okay, not really that new - almost two weeks old.
I love lohei! Shall put these creations of mine up for rememberance...
My latest squeeze - Tyler - and I really miss him!
My dearest godson 'bought' me a purple sock to protect my mobile phone. And he can recite my full name - Tan Pao Yun Gillian Eeyore. Don't ask me why 'Eeyore'. He calls himself Baby Joey and his mum, Mummy Kangaroo. Tommy is Tigger. His lovely mum also got me a packet of Ribena flowers! Started thinking about the Five Love Languages. Haa.
Met up with Aunt Ruby and Esther today. Krystal was still in school when we ate at the Japanese Food Court at North Point. How do I speak love? Cuddled Esther and asked for kisses. Haa. That is physical touch. Bought her four ring stamps and her sis, a pizza-shaped pen. That is giving of gifts. Hm... and the quality time spent while we had lunch? Alright, need to pump in more words of encouragement and acts of service!
Belly dance classes start tomorrow! Wonder how is it going to be like.
Monday, February 23, 2009
-12:21 AM
Am so glad the stipend is in. Have two weddings to attend in March and another in June. ACL's little one is due soon too. Life is beautiful!
Went to Sembawang Shopping Complex on Saturday with TomSumJo. Bought numerous items at Diaso and am motivated to bake this short recess week. I'll see. Still have many tasks on hand.
Helped my mum dye her hair this afternoon. We also had home-cooked lunch with dad and it is such a blissful feeling...
Had a BBQ with two friends at a park just now. My first time trying barbecued portobello mushrooms, bacon strips and cheese tofu. Had the usual sausages, chicken chops, nuggets and sotong balls. We fed the mosquitoes as well... ...
Am so touched by my dearest godson. He insisted that I am in the 'picture' as well when an activity required him to paste pictures representing his family members during Sunday School. I thank God too for him and his lovely parents!
Here is my darling, happily buried under CNY goodies.
First saw this in a resort on Pulau Ubin and now it is available in pasar malam! You pay to get trapped in a huge transparent balloon while trying to keep your balance in it. Too bad, anyone struggling inside ends up looking like a guinea pig or hamster doing the usual stunt.
Bought these two packs of cute picks from Daiso. Hopefully they will come in useful one day as teaching aids.
And stamps from Daiso too! All ready for school?
A hot glass of aromatic coffee is all I need for an idyllic afternoon...
Friday, February 20, 2009
-11:06 PM
What is the biggest difference between humans and animals?
Humans can conceal their true feelings.
Got this through a show and I totally agree with it.
Have to sleep soon because I have to wake up early for tuition tomorrow morning. Sometimes, I wish life can be more interesting than this. Haha.
I wonder if I should be happy for him. I could see it coming but I know it will pass in no time.
Bumped into one of my tutors from last semester and seeing him reminds me that time is running out. Yup! He told me to keep in touch when I start teaching.
Celebrated with Ching and Mich today after handing in one of our more demanding projects. Am so glad that recess is here but there are days set aside to work on other assignments in the coming week. More to come, yes, more to come...
This is on Facebook but there is no harm putting it here, I guess.
25 Things About Me
Childhood
Was an extremely naughty child who often got on my mum’s nerves and caning was almost a daily affair.
Was taken care and abused to a certain extent by one of my relatives when I was in Kindergarten Year 1.
Started cooking dinner for my family in Primary 2. Impressive?
Became a prefect in Woodlands Primary School (WPS) in Primary 4. Of course, I continued until Primary 6.
Made numerous friends from WPS whom I still keep in contact with. And I found a few of them through Facebook.
Finished my PSLE – Please Stop Learning Everything – with an aggregate score of 243 with a distinction in Mathematics and went to Bukit Panjang Govt High.
Brought to church by one of my friends and the seed was sowed then.
Adolescence
For no rhyme and reason, many feared me back in Secondary school days. Result? I had to ‘settle’ a conflict between gangs once!
Topped my class in Home Economics.
Joined St John Ambulance Brigade and met my ‘popo’ – Liyan. I loved the drills but First Aid was a dread. Was the parade timer once so you can imagine how loud I can go.
Used to loiter at McDonald’s for hours after school ends.
Awarded The Most Polite Student for my class in Secondary 4 when I turned down the award for The Most Outstanding Pupil. Reason? I felt that my results were not brilliant enough.
Took History at ‘A’ level when I hated it. Oh yes, the tutor is cute!
Was mistaken for a butch when I had my hair cut short during JC days.
Played truants with Kelvin, Shirleen, ACL, Huijing and more for Math tutorials.
Studied Chinese at ‘A’ level – Chinese Literature – and wondered how I survived.
Had my first boyfriend and nearly committed suicide when we broke up. Shirleen was there and I was just a few inches from a double-decker.
Adulthood
Enrolled for a Bachelor Degree in Business Administration in SIM and graduated with a degree with distinction.
Met my Dage who really dotes on me. He is one of the many blessings in my life.
Went to Melbourne for an exchange program and it is an unforgettable experience.
Went through a painful and struggling relationship with a Christian. It made me a stronger person and I thank God who saw me through it all.
Served for 7 years in church and the most memorable is my participation in a drama as one of the two main actresses. I think I am an entertainer. Also met two angels – Rus and Ah Drew.
Discovered that I still have 3 milk teeth so stop assuming every adult has at least 28 permanent teeth.
Worked for a while and entered NIE, where I made a number of gems who made a real difference to my life. You know who you are and I love you!
Met a lovely second family – TomSumJo – who is always there. Fell in love with their son and I became a godma who willingly gets bullied by him.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
-3:27 PM
I broke down out of fear, the fear of losing someone. The fear of having to live with a guilt that haunts for life. The fear of the inability to do anything to be of help. The fear of not knowing when is the last time I will see her. The fear of experiencing what will happen next. All I could do was to say a prayer for her as I held her hands tightly. My dear friend, if you don't love yourself, no one will. If you don't take care of yourself, no one can. There are many out there fighting to live while you are trying to die. Life is so precious and more than what you are going through now. *deep sigh* I cannot do anything but pray... ...
Thursday, February 12, 2009
-3:16 PM
It is never easy to write reflections when the readings are so deep. Imagine talking about creating 'friendly emptiness' for strangers and how ambivalent our spontaneous feelings to them can be! (O.o)
Sunday, February 08, 2009
-11:06 PM
This is hilarious... don't think my mum is like her at all... ya... not a single bit... HAHA
-6:31 PM
Everyday is a beautiful day because God is with me. There is no 'good old times' because every single day gets better with God in and around me. Am guilty of complaining and being judgmental at times. Perhaps the best antidote is to speak less, listen and pray more. Be Battle-ready because the world is a playground. Deal with the Egypt - discontentment - within us. Wherever I am, it is a place of destiny.
Here With Me by Mercy Me
I long for your embrace Every single day To meet you in this place And see you face to face
Will you show me? Reveal yourself to me Because of your mercy I fall down on my knees
And I can feel your presence here with me Suddenly I'm lost within your beauty Caught up in the wonder of your touch Here in this moment I surrender to your love
You're everywhere I go I am not alone You call me as your own To know you and be known
You are holy And I fall down on my knees
I can feel your presence here with me Suddenly I'm lost within your beauty Caught up in the wonder of your touch Here in this moment I surrender to your love
I surrender to your grace I surrender to the one who took my place
I can feel your presence here with me Suddenly I'm lost within your beauty Caught up in the wonder of your touch Here in this moment I surrender:
I can feel your presence here with me Suddenly I'm lost within your beauty Caught up in the wonder of your touch Here in this moment I surrender to your love
Joash is a gifted child! Am I am so proud of him! He can rattle off names of dinosaurs at three! Amazing, right? And Sharon says that he often bullies me, because he knows that I love him. Well, I don't mind actually because he is a child and most importantly, my one and only godson! Muaks.
Friday, February 06, 2009
-3:56 PM
Am brain dead after an extremely torturous attempt to analyse a text for SFG.
Am elated because a number of my favourite tutors are nominated for the Excellence in Teaching Award - Dr Kramer, Aik Ling, Ramona, Ludwig and A/P Liu Woon Chia.
Am excited because I may be joining an absolutely new CG in CEFC (Woodlands) after receiving an e-mail from Pastor Barney.
Am irritated by endless phone calls and invitations from people whom I don't know to participate in activities on Valentine's Day.
Am feeling cold because I have been in the school library for about three and a half hours.
Am bored while waiting for Marie to come back from her ride.
Am turned off by the fact that I have to attend a two hours tutorial at 4.30pm today (yes, it's a Friday) which has little value.
Am confused if I should follow TomSumJo for dinner because I want to catch something on OKTO at 8pm tomorrow.
Am wondering if Marie can make it back on time for our tutorial.
Haa.
Monday, February 02, 2009
-11:00 PM
LISTENING
A good listener is a witness, not a filter for your experience.
When listening is genuine, the emphasis is on the speaker.
Genuine listening means suspending memory, desire and judgment – and, for a few moments at least, existing for the other person.
A listener’s emotional reaction seems inappropriate only as long as you can’t see his or her memory.
Listening well is often silent but never passive.
You don’t have to be responsible to someone’s feelings to be aware of them – and to acknowledge them.
Listening is hard because it involves a loss of control – and if you’re afraid of what you might hear, it feels unsafe to relinquish control.
If you don’t listen to yourself, it’s unlikely that anyone else will.
Feelings are facts to the person experiencing them.
An understanding attitude doesn’t presume to know a person’s thoughts and feelings. Instead, it is an openness to listen and discover.
Being listened to spells the difference between feeling accepted and feeling isolated.
Don’t tell angry people to calm down. Doing so only makes them feel like you’re denying their right to be upset.
Most of our assumptions about why communication breaks down are about the other guy. We take our own input for granted.
Listening is a true art which I am still trying to master... and these quotes are meaningful reminders, though I may not agree with all of them!
Sunday, February 01, 2009
-3:45 PM
Been so busy spending time with my family and relatives that I cannot find a proper time to blog and upload the pictures I've taken. And blame it on my biological clock because CNY ruined it. Been trying hard to sleep before midnight but no matter how long I rock (myself to Lalaland), everything only switches off around three in the morning. I don't dare to read, blog, check e-mails etc. after twelve for fear that I will get too stimulated mentally. *sigh* Had lohei yesterday and am so proud of myself with some of the hard work done! Been shredding and shredding. Back to work. And have I told anyone that I feel like I am doing eight modules because two of them have been condensed into six weeks instead of the usual twelve or thirteen? Okay, I know I am not the only one. And I have been naughty in class - not listening to certain tutors. Thanks to Marie for drawing pictures and tempting me to add on to her masterpiece. And yes, Ching would gladly remark that "We have a life, man!" and this is our last semester to bond further. I am rattling on. Am missing dad so much. No one for company to clear the leftovers. No one to nag at me to come home earlier. Haha. But he is coming back! Yipee! Darling Tyler left a scratch mark on my neck when I brought him to swim. And he gave a cheeky smile when I asked for a proper kiss (as he usually kisses by leaning one of his cheeks close to you). How can he be so adorable? Am once again pleasantly surprised by Jojo with his "Not coughing. I am burping." when I remarked "No more iced Milo because you are coughing!". February is here... I want to attend Cell. I want to learn belly dance. Oops, more projects to go. Two are due this week. Have to collect a cake from my lovely Duayi later and thanks to TomSum for agreeing to drive me there because Humes Avenue is really out of the way for me. And it's Sunday already? Hope that I can sleep better tonight... q(0_0)p
